Swing, Swing

   I've never really considered myself to be an adult. I feel that maturity is generally a waste of time, and I fully plan to maintain a child-like, spontaneous, goofy, free-spirited approach to life for as long as I possibly can. Perhaps it was that sense of juvenile excitement that drove me to the swing set at River Grove Park.

   I went to the park for admirable reasons: go running in the nice weather, hang out with my family, take the dogs out for some exercise and play time. Sounds like a safe and wholesome good time, right? Wrong.

   Within 2 minutes of arriving one of the people in our party (I won't say which one), tripped in a cleverly camouflaged hole in the ground, twisting her ankle. Then, about 10 minutes later, one of the dogs started mysteriously bleeding. We never did find out how or why, but let me tell you, it's terrifying seeing a border collie whose mouth and nose are drenched in fresh blood.

   However, we made the best of it. I pushed forward and had a lovely run through the woods, (Which invariably makes me feel like I'm fulfilling my childhood dream of being Max from Where the Wild Things Are.)

"Let the wild rumpus begin!!!"

  After my run, I met up with my family at the kids' area of the park which has a jungle gym, parallel bars, and a swing set. Well, no better way to cool down after a workout than by playing on the playground, right? So, like any logical grown-up, I got onto the swings. Now, to be honest, I've had issues with swings in the past. I have a tendency to over-commit and I generally end up losing my balance, jumping off too early, and landing so hard that it makes my shins feel like they've shattered into 1,000 pieces.

  Today was no different. I had pretty much reached terminal velocity and an altitude of 35,000 feet when I realized that, perhaps, I hadn't thought this idea through. I tried to slow myself down by dragging my feet along the ground, but in the process, I displaced my weight and felt myself sliding forward. I leaned back, attempting to correct my weight distribution, but apparently I over-corrected, causing me to fall out of the swing. I fell out of a swing. That happened. You win again, gravity.

   I wish I could say that I was alone when this happened. But I definitely wasn't. There were people around. A lot of people. For a brief second I thought that maybe nobody had seen me until I heard a five year old kid yell, "SHE FELL OFF THE SWING!!!" Thank you, dear child. Sadly, I'm sure your swinging skills are far more advanced than mine.

  I took stock of my situation, still laying on the ground. There was sand in some uncomfortable and inconvenient places. My hand hurt like hell, and...yep...I definitely broke a finger. (When I got home I realized that I also strained my shoulder) So, I got up, dusted myself off, and faced the awaiting judgment from my family and onlookers, at which point, my beautiful mother said, "I think it's time to go." Uhhh. Yeah.

  Unfortunately, this is fairly typical of my life. Self-inflicted injuries are a normal fixture in my daily routine.

Some may recall "The Car Door Debacle of 2010":

Or the "I Was In a Hurry and Opened My Closet Door Into My Face Catastrophe of 2011"

Or the "I Flipped Headfirst Over My Handlebars Disaster of 2011"

Or the, "I Bruised a Bone in My Knee Coming Out of The Stairs At School Fiasco of 2012"

   So, sadly, this is nothing new for me. At this point my life is pretty much a series of awkward moments and humiliating demonstrations of my lack of coordination. But, you know what? I kind of like my penchant for falling, tripping, dropping things, and generally making an ass out of myself. Why? Because it has taught me how to laugh at myself, how to get back up even when my bones (or heart) are broken, and how to brush off people's judgment. But most importantly, I've learned not to be afraid of looking stupid, not to be afraid of making mistakes, and not to let past embarrassments and failures keep me from having a good time and trying again.

So, even though today was a disaster, I'm never going to stop swinging.